They're your followers. But the POLITICIANS, god bless them or something like that, they're are at their most entertaining when they're are in trouble. 4 0 obj endobj Now theres one thing you mighta noticed I dont complain about: politicians. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. "No child left behind. Fuck em! In this paper, I examine George Carlin's stance on . Well, we know what they want. POLITICIAN:I'M IN PUBLIC SERVICE, I LIKE AMERICA DON'T YOU? We'll start with the first three, and I'll use the Roman Catholic version because those are the ones I was fed as a little boy. I know, they say, they say: well if you dont vote you have no right to complain. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. Carlin, for 40-years, was one of the greatest comedians ever. Because if it is really just the fault of the politicians then where are all the other bright people of conscience? I, on the other handwho did not votewho did not votewho, in fact, did not even leave the house on Election Day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain as loud as I want about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with. He discusses political stance and also societal beliefs on the environment, and the Earth's resilience towards bombardment by pollution. (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. Everybody complains about politicians. trailer And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. Garbage ingarbage out. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." (But First, Answer Me This). See they don't DECIDE; they DETERMINE. I mean, why do we need to see some idiot eating Tide pods or jumping off a roof into a pool? They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Maybe you'll find some of the features useful , Ignore this comment if your post doesn't have a prompt. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. BUT WHEN I DO, I'LL ADVISE YOU. Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? endobj Garbage out. "Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. And the problem is, we're comparing our real lives to other people's highlight reels. Everyone experiences pain, of course. This is what we have to offer. Who in fact did not even leave the house on election-day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done, and have every RIGHT to complain as loud as I want, about the mess YOU created, that I had nothing to do with. They got you by the balls. In this blog post, we'll take a look at some of Carlin's most famous quotes on government. x\}_nK '!oF+$SW9E fX{]YTUOm9qhSO+_7L|*kqyHUwor}=qgw;WnrG7no8G*w6a2Uq
K|CQWO_nT]}wbvASBT=tE.t6C}qC)onmg2uAWq|9xLSg This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. . Search. Cause Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Good honest hard-working people; white collar, blue collar it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. We don't need that many. Very relevant for these times of high public paranoia about Global Warming! I'M SERVING THE NATION. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Everybodys at the mall, scratchin his ass, pickin his nose, takin his credit card out of his fanny pack and buyin a pair of sneakers with lights in them. %%EOF The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. <>/MediaBox[0 0 612 792]/Parent 175 0 R/Resources<>/Font<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageC]/XObject<>>>/Rotate 0/StructParents 0/Tabs/S/Type/Page>> Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. But wheres the logic in that? endobj Well where do people think these politicians come from? Theyll get it. George Carlin returns to the stage in Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theater in New York City for HBO. All day long beating you over the head in their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. George Carlin - Euphemisms I don't like words that hide the truth. <>stream
Everyone experiences pain, of course. The only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im gunna have a little something to show for it, folks.. What's with all the selfies? And you don't want to spend your real life chasing after digital validation.". And we've all bought into it. The planet is fine. He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. e d u / e t d / 4 7 1)/Rect[72.0 131.7406 279.0264 143.4594]/StructParent 6/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Trump Follower? But theres a reason. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin talking about social media: "Social media, huh? A clean place to live. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. (LAUGHS). People like to twist that around, I know. Do you? War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. They dont want that! THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? A lot of that goes on: QUESTION:SENATOR, HAVE YOU SOLVED THAT PROBLEM?POLITICIAN:WELL, WE'RE MOVING FORWARD ON THAT. It will be a lot of fun. Everybody complains about politicians. Not in the abstract they don't. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) 01. [187 0 R 188 0 R 189 0 R 190 0 R 191 0 R 192 0 R 193 0 R] STANDS4 LLC, 2023. The planet has been through a lot worse than us. He pretty much smashed the nail squarely on the head. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. Incidentally, another way of expressing this sentiment is to say we're sending our young men and women to places the average American can't find on the map. What a great idea. It's like they're saying, 'Look at me, look at me! User Clip: Carlin Mocks Politicians' Language. Forget the politicians. Marc Allan: Hi. I dont vote. George Carlin: I'm in Hollywood, Los Angeles. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. I dont vote. They say, Well, if you dont vote you have no right to complain. But wheres the logic in that? Well off-course not only is it possible its inevitable and thats when he's at his very best and that's when he trots out the really good stuff. In fact, it might be the thing that's making you unhappy. endobj Because the owners, the owners of this country dont want that. The planet has been here four and a half billion years. Better yet, and more ironic, 'THEY TWISTED MY WORDS.' 'Look at me, I'm so happy and successful and loved!' He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. 193 0 obj His satirical comments and relentless attacking a damaged system that unfairly trounced on the rights of its . Read it first. So put down your phone, step away from the computer, and go out into the world. Fuck em! First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. THUS FAR, HE HASN'T RESPONDED. But, the Incomplete List highlights his exceptional understanding of, love for, and talent with language, sound, and rythmn. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? The career of comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) spanned five decades, with his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" being in 1962.He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or . If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. POLITICIAN:HE HASN'T RESPONDED TO MY INITIATIVE. They don't care about the planet. I dont vote. Suddenly we're down to four. So, I know that a little later on this year youre gunna have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much [Bill Clinton v. Bob Dole]. And so, a long last after each has RESPONDED to the others INITIATIVES and each has REVIEWED the others RESPONSES and everyone has taken a POSITION made a JUDGMENT and offered a RECOMMENDATION. NOW they have to do something! The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) People are so quick to judge and attack each other over the smallest things. It's like the Wild West of the internet, but with more trolls. So maybe maybe MAYBE, its not the politicians who suck. "In America, anyone can become president. 184 0 obj It goes WAY beyond his famous Seven Words You Cant Say on Television (also classic). And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. It's like, 'Hey, look at me, I'm having a good time. 25l`|xs[e>L;}_}S +Fn-RWErk^7=fa,|~'RsiYK@"4W/:iVDrZWV)^:i\9KnwmVYi5v b^mfYN.[ T*gvIc"f=di^fE)SGO <>stream
Mr. GEORGE CARLIN: Here's another slogan you run into all the time "God Bless America." Once again, respectfully I say to myself what the (beep) does that mean. m o n t c l a i r . George Carlin. They own and control the corporations. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Reading the text, it sounds like a reasonably serious essaywell, sort of. They made questioners out of us and they really didnt have any answers. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? Now hes on the side of law and order, jiu jitsu really: POLITICIAN:WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SO WE CAN GET THE FACTS OUT TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. Beep Boop, this was generated by by ChatGPT. startxref BRAND: That's comedian George. `XX /;VU}`M%VO #5Zfb-> You know, in the old days, if you wanted to share your opinion with someone, you had to look them in the eye and say it to their face. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. George Carlin - National Press Club May 19, 1999. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. See they dont READ they REVIEW, they dont have OPINIONS they take POSITIONS, and they dont give ADVISE they make RECOMMENDATIONS. Yeah, let's share our every thought and feeling with the entire world, because that's what we need, more information. Clearly he's preparing us for something (LAUGHS). It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Now you can just hide behind a screen and fire off your misspelled, grammatically incorrect rants to thousands of strangers. Two reasons I dont vote. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Quick Guide. This legendary rant is even better when read. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you. I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). Nobody cares. They speak of course with great caution, because they must take care not to actually say anything. Let's all tell each other what we're doing every minute of the day. And that certain sign that things are closing in: POLITICIAN:WHATEVER HAPPENED TO INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY (LAUGHS). Transcript. Then, as the controversy continues to heat up, he moves to his next level of complaint: POLITICIAN:THE WHOLE THING HAS BEEN BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Never mind the press conferences get the big knife out of the drawer. And by the way, it's the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. Then you're just what they're looking for. What? Before his death in June 2008, comedian George Carlin spent 10 years working on a memoir, Last Words, with his longtime friend Tony Hendra. (CLAPS, LAUGHS). They come from American parents, American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, American universities, and theyre elected by American citizens. Real connection comes from being present with other people, from having meaningful conversations, from doing things together. They don't get any real human contact. That doesnt help them. But social media is just a symptom of our narcissistic, attention-deficit culture. Video Transcript - In Defense of Politicians (George Carlin, 1996) "Now there's one thing you mighta noticed I don't complain about: politicians. They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features. [wptabtitle]Blog[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][/wptabcontent] Where you calling from today? And of course, they're all looking for that dopamine hit of getting likes and comments from people who agree with them. Watch on George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE them', National Press Club - 1999 Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers. And secondly, I dont vote cause I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. Nobody cares. They own everything. Thats what the owners count on. I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing . No one has PROBLEMS anymore. You wanna know what a friend is? Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things, the flag, the Bible and children. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. I dont always agree with everything he says, but I always listen. Power, Politics & American Sports [transcript] [VIDEO CLIP] Jesse Owens: To me, politics has no part to play on the field of strife of . It's like we're all living in a never-ending episode of MTV Cribs. It's all just noise. George Carlin. [/wptabs]. Updated on May 30, 2018. It's like they're part of some kind of digital echo chamber. He spoke about his book "Brain Droppings" and answered questions submitted by the audience. We're so obsessed with ourselves and our own little worlds that we can't even have a real conversation or a meaningful interaction with someone without checking our phones every five minutes. 'Oh, I'm so exhausted from traveling all over Europe for the third time this year. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS . Certainly! You don't. You have no choice. 186 0 obj The Wealthy the REAL owners! They own you. Two reasons I dont vote: first of all, its meaningless. They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. The politicians, the celebrities, and the lawyers, and although their level of insincerity is astonishing, it's still kinda fun to hear them talk. Then youre just what theyre looking for. And the worst part is that social media has become a platform for outrage and self-righteousness. I always thought it was kind of funny and someone out of character for a POLITICIAN to go out of his way to point out the low level of American intelligence (LAUGHS), when indeed his very job depends upon it. 203 0 obj So my advice is this: put down your phone, go outside, and actually live your life. Pfft! It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. And don't even get me started on Twitter. for Caitlin & Johnny - 2015, Korey Soderman (via Kyle): 'All our lives I have used my voice to help Korey express his thoughts, so today, like always, I will be my brothers voice' for Kyle and Jess - 2014, Bruce Springsteen: 'They're keepers of some of the most beautiful sonic architecture in rock and roll', Induction U2 into Rock Hall of Fame - 2005, Olivia Colman: 'Done that bit. Two reasons. POLITICIAN:THERE IS NO EVIDENCE, NO ONE HAS PROVEN ANYTHING EVENTUALLY I'LL BE EXONERATED. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Everybody says they suck. Speakola is a labour of love and Id be very grateful if you would share, tweet or like it. ', Defense of 2nd Spanish Republic - 1936, Jimmy Reid: 'A rat race is for rats. 0000000016 00000 n
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Religion. 0000001936 00000 n
The shit they shuffle around every four years doesnt mean a fuckin thing. 183 21 George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Use section headers above different song parts like [Verse], [Chorus], etc. ', Illustrator of the Year, British Book Awards - 2018, Tina Fey: 'Only in comedy is an obedient white girl from the suburbs a diversity candidate', Kennedy Center Mark Twain Award - 2010, Sacha Baron Cohen: 'Just think what Goebbels might have done with Facebook', Anti Defamation League Leadership Award - 2019, Greta Thunberg: 'How dare you', UN Climate Action Summit - 2019, Charlie Munger: 'The Psychology of Human Misjudgment', Harvard University - 1995, Lawrence O'Donnell: 'The original sin of this country is that we invaders shot and murdered our way across the land killing every Native American that we could', The Last Word, 'Dakota' - 2016. You enjoy yourselves. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. And so, with all of this in mind, folks, I offer you my revised list of the Two Commandments: THOU SHALT KEEP THY RELIGION TO THYSELF! ), Stay up to date with the latest Digital Ants Network (DAN) versions in our channel, All of these features are available at no cost to you. Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. So if you are easily offended dont click the link. 4 Mar. His final HBO special, It's Bad for Ya, was filmed less than four months before his death. The table is tilted folks. This is the best we can do folks. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. George Carlin: In football, the object is for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by . It's clearly a padded list. The table has tilted folks. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. He said: [There was] a lot of classroom freedomin fact there was so much freedom that by eighth grade, many of us had lost the faith. Please validate my existence. Another favorite distortion is Public Service. Here Is What You Support, Stop The Steal! Now, folks, a question for you. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic. https://www.scripts.com/writer/george_carlin/6024. I HAVEN'T DETERMINED THAT YET. So, maybemaybemaybe its not the politicians who suck. That's a friend. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. I just wanna put this behind me and that's an expression we hear a lot these days in all walks of lives. You have owners. Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. But here's the thing, folks. The PEOPLE are fucked. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. [wptabtitle]@Shoq[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][twitter-feed username=shoq mode=feed id=323150247956193281][/wptabcontent] They want obedient workers. Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! Comedian George Carlin addressed members and guests of the National Press Club in Washington, DC. (LAUGHS). Difference. All rights reserved. I don't like euphemisms, or euphemistic language. You and I are not in the big club. A person who routinely spends his days torturing the language complains; POLITICIAN:THEY TWISTED MY WORDS. Press J to jump to the feed. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Are these fucking people kidding me? George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) 0000015151 00000 n
Thats right. endobj Theyll get it. 9 minutes; 13,650 views; May 13, 1999 They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. So, next time you're scrolling through your feeds, ask yourself: 'Is this really connecting me with people, or is it just making me more disconnected and isolated?' Whenever the issue of term limits comes up, I always tell people the only term limits I'm interested in would be to limit some of the terms used by politicians. Its almost a poetic rap. All across this great land of ours, the greatest nation on earth, the greatest nation in the history of the World and in times of military crisis you can be sure that someone in a suit in this town will eventually plant himself in front of a camera and carry on a great deal about the most powerful nation on the face of the earth. Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Just a thought.". But here's the thing: you don't need social media to be happy. <> This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. There's a whole world out there waiting for you, and it's much more interesting than anything you'll find on social media.". And they're all looking for that instant gratification of likes and followers, like it's some kind of digital high-five. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. Apparently no one has ever claimed that only a small portion of something (LAUGHS) was blown out of proportion. I have my ideas. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. everybody complains about politicians. This shit they shuffle around every four years? Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Several reasons. %PDF-1.7
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Thats a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks! ', And let's not forget the humblebrags. [masturbation gestures] It doesnt mean a fucking thing. It's always the whole thing. Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. Its called the American Dream,because you have to be asleep to believe it. And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. While you're here, we have a public discord server. Personally, I think we still need to hoist our fannies perpendicular and hike ourselves to the ballet box for all elections. But in war times they quickly become, our brave young fighting men and women stationed half way around the world in places whose name's they(POLITICIANS) can't pronounce, wandering if they will ever see their loved ones again. You know what they're interested in? Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me. 0000080920 00000 n
He missed this one. So I know that a little later on this year, youre going to have another one of those really swell presidential elections that you like so much. Everybodys at the mall scratching his ass, picking his nose, taking out his credit card out of a fannie-pack, and buying a pair of sneakers with lights in them. And secondly, I dont vote because I believe if you vote you have no right to complain. (6K"F;nyV-()*bt3QgsX;a\IC'h%7. From Life Is Worth Losing.